8 types of kitty athletes
Cats are built to excel in athletic activities. Their superiority in terms of speed, precision, and flexibility is only achieved by their remarkable ability to sleep 12 to 16 hours a day. There are no gold medals in your sleep, although cats are sure there is a void in the World Feline Bylaws – they just aren’t motivated enough to locate it.
1) The ice hockey player
The goal of ice hockey is to move the puck across the ice and shoot into the opposing team’s net. Who is more naturally gifted with these skills than a cat? Have you ever seen a kitten pound a toy across the room with ease? Their paws are quick and they have remarkable control over objects. And if you’re wondering if it’s highscorer or not, just check under your sofa and fridge. Goal! Cats also look forward to sitting in the penalty area.
2) The wrestler
Anything rolling around on the floor with another cat makes one cat the perfect wrestling athlete. You are agile, tenacious, and love a good fall. You don’t even have to wrestle with another cat – they’re pretty happy to rumble and pin their favorite toy down. In fact, they may like the toy better because they always win.
If you’ve ever experienced cat zoomies you’ll agree that kittens sprint like it’s nobody’s business. You’ll make it from one end of the house to the other in no time – you don’t even have time to pull out your stopwatch. Oh, and we’re pretty sure her overly bloated tail and occasional vocalizations while sprinting only fuel her athletic fire.
4) high jumper
High jumper cats have strong hind legs that help them make giant leaps from the floor to the kitchen counter and various other (sometimes unapproved) locations. We’re pretty sure that Olympic athletes watch cat videos as part of their training.
Sometimes our little cats resemble gazelles, moving around the house at graceful speed, jumping over obstacles on their way. Like athletic hurdlers, their jumps seem effortless when they walk over chairs, garbage cans and even us. The only thing that can stop a hurdle cat is food – or a moth.
Cats are born with lightning-fast paws, and their aim is impeccable. Watching two cats throw punches at each other is no different than having a VIP seat at a Vegas boxing match. However, not all cats enjoy this type of sport and prefer the less sporty “box” movements where they curl up in a cardboard box. All kittens are very good at this type of “sport”.
When cats awaken from a slumber, they lengthen their bodies in mega-stretches before moving on to the next activity. Her expert stretching program keeps her body supple and flexible. And who has a better balance than a cat? The balance beam would be a cake! And we’ve all witnessed her majestic floor routines while following a feather-tipped toy. We may even have witnessed the accidental vault maneuver when our kittens jump and miss their target – and then pretend to “do” it.
8) Martial Arts Expert
Some martial arts require extreme focus and quick movements. If you’ve ever seen two cats face each other, you’ve seen the “paw raised to strike but frozen in time” look while making focused eye contact with their opponent. They sometimes stay in this position for a while, creating excitement for everyone who is watching. Then suddenly the paw slams and the action continues – until the next cliff hanger of a moment. Wax up, wax down, kitten – wax up, wax down.
Angie Bailey, an award-winning writer, podcaster, and humorist, is the author of Texts From Mittens and creator of the podcast Paws Rewind: Gen X + Cats.